Joint Custody and Summer Vacations Part 1

Agreements between parents of a joint custody child are never easy or understood correctly (at least not by the bipolar crazy mother).

It must be difficult being crazy and illiterate?

Let me do you all the honor of reading through the agreement section regarding Summer Vacation Visitations and then I’ll copy and paste the conversation of emails between my husband and my stepdaughter’s mother, Libby.

Agreement:

“Summer: In the Summer of 2009 and 2010, the Father shall have two (2) one (1) week custodial periods; one to be the week of the Family Clam Bake and the other to be selected by the Father with forty-five (45) days notice to the Mother. Commencing 2011, the Father shall have the child for one (1) fourteen day period and one (1) seven day period divided by at least fourteen (14) days each summer; Father shall provide a minimum of forty-five (45) days notice to Mother of the intended dates for said custodial periods and shall be allowed to have one of the two periods include the week of the Family Clam Bake”.

Emails:

April 17th, 2012

Libby, Wanted to let you know about the first 7 day summer visitation dates:  June 3rd 6 pm to June 10th 6 pm. Thanks, (from my husband)

April 17th, 2012

We planned a beach vacation june 6th-8-9th  dons vacation is June 22-30th and last vacation is August 6th -12th.  there is my advanced schedule on our vacations. (from Libby)

April 17th, 2012

Libby,

I want to have good communication and per our Agreement Section 3C, it is clear on Summer vacation.
 
I’ve given you plenty of notice on the dates we have planned for a vacation: June 3-10.
 
Thanks, (from my husband)
April 18th, 2012
Also please keep in mind Summer vacation begins in the summer…. Summer begins June 20th 1st day of summer
(from Libby)
******Sorry, I have to interject- Isn’t summer within a visitation schedule determined by the child’s school year calendar?******
April 23rd, 2012
Libby,
I have consulted with my attorney and our Agreement is very clear on Summer visitation.  I have provided you the required notice and the dates chosen. 
 
June 3rd – 10th is the first of two separate visitations during the summer. 
 
Thanks, (from my husband)
April 25th, 2012
I too spoke with my attorney today.  The agreement when you had 2 weeks you got to pick.  Commencing 2011 Father shall provide…. 45 day notice of INTENDED dates…….
That week does not work for me I have already made plans to go out of town due to it being my only weekend in 5 weeks.  We all have already arranged work off.  listed flights. and Hotel plans.Please send other options.  June 3- 10th will not work this year.  If needed one or the other can file a patition and let the judge decide.Thank you, (from Libby)
April 26th, 2012
Change of plans.  You can have her that weekend this year, without notice.  but it will not happen again.I’m sick of fighting with you.  You think you are hurting me, but one day (if) when you grow up OR start caring about my daughter and things she wants. maybe you will see that it hurts no one but my daughter.  You think she don’t notice but she does.  She is way smarter than you give her credit for.So enjoy your fake vacation I will reschedule mine.  But I do hope you listen to your words “we need to start communicating” or look up the definition of communication. (from Libby)
April 26th, 2012
Between my husband and his attorney:
(My husband) “Disregard my e-mail from earlier. LOL.  This came in a few moments ago from Libby.   Still unstable as ever.  I especially enjoyed her “fake” vacation comment.” 
His attorney) “How funny. She is no writer, that’s for sure.  Don’t worry you can file a “patition” and even if you think she “don’t” want you to, she do!!!  Good lord. Glad (your daughter) has you for a dad!”

 

My comments:

I’m really excited to see what people’s input is on this blog? She is ALWAYS this way if not worse.

You see, it never has to be a fight or challenge. But she always makes it that way. If we have to follow by the agreement, then so does she. If she wasn’t a pain in the ass since the first day then we would certainly work with her every step. If she didn’t deny a relationship with her father and his family, then this would be a piece of cake. If she stopped playing games and realize that she can’t have our daughter all of the time, then maybe we wouldn’t have these struggles. But we played the highroad, the nice road, the kiss ass road… and none of them worked. Now we stick to the agreement and that’s it.

She hates it. But she needs to be nice. Not be crazy. And not use her daughter to get what she wants in life. It;s pathetic and completely harmful to our daughter. I’m scared about the mess that she creates on her.

Elle.B.

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